Hey fellow human,

Wow. It’s been sooooo long, and I’ve totally disappeared from the face of the Earth. I’ve been trying to come up for air, but my life has been INTENSE, and I needed to tend to my real life and close relationships, and I didn’t have the capacity to write. It’s been so long, in fact, that apparently my automatic “Is this goodbye?” sequence got triggered in Kit (my newsletter delivery platform). I am really sorry for that. I hope you choose to stay - even through my silent periods, because there will be more. Promising anything else would be insincere.

On heat and transitions

Summer was a burn, in different ways. A scorching planet to begin with, which put me on high alert, but also a lot of fire in my original family system. Which, to be fair, has always been fiery (two stubborn Aries, a proud Leo, and an airy Aquarius to stoke the fire with little earth or water around us is not a combination I recommend - if you believe in the mystery of the stars). But to be fair, from a different perspective, I have taken “wood to burn” from this very system as well, for all the work I do today, so I shouldn’t complain about my training ground.

Over the summer, I’ve been in a big transition with my work - my constellation is changing significantly, and it is so exciting. I want to say more, but things are not yet consolidated into a stable form, so I am careful and trying to be patient, because what’s coming is really, really good. And if you are or were a client, you will be the first to know. Can’t wait to tell you more.

One thing I can say is that since early summer, I’ve been working on a project with the innovation department in a large corporate on streamlining their innovation efforts across their portfolio. I’m sitting as a spider in the web, driving delivery of a digital platform that connects directly to their innovation governance and all different teams across innovation and beyond. It’s complex, to say the least. It’s also been a while since I worked with product. A lot is shifting in that world, too. So, I’ve been stretched and stimulated in a good way - and also occasionally, in a less good way. Some of the old ghosts are rearing their ugly heads, but I take it as a perfect opportunity to say: “Not today, f***ers.”

I know it sounds dramatic, and it is at times, but it’s also a kind of a test and sanity check of my own leadership development and how I stand in myself now. It is interesting to see how quickly I can regain my footing, get out of the negative spiral and how effective my tools actually are - also when I use them on myself.
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Changing our brain, for real

During the autumn I also deepened two super effective approaches to my coaching, which I’ve been exploring for a while, but have now formalised. I’ve taken a course in Integrative Hypnosis with Melissa Tiers, to deepen my change approach and make my coaching more effective (and shorter, because this stuff really works like magic). My own coaching toolbox already included some of these tools under a different name, but it was really cool to nerd out with Melissa on the brain's neuroplasticity and better understand the neurological component of change. It is fascinating how quickly our brains can change - and we have no idea that this is available to us. I’m determined to change this, and I’m already using all the tools on myself and anyone near me: friends, family, colleagues, clients.

The training I did a month ago was The Living Wisdom of Dreams with Dawn Menken, an amazing processwork facilitator and one of Arnold Mindell's first students. Dawn’s workshop was beautiful, magical, and transformative in every way. It was based on Arny’s notion of a Dreambody (also a book) - the idea that the body brings the unconscious and dreams into our awareness through symptoms. Processwork then uses the symptoms to unfold the underlying dream and create a new awareness of our inner signals and process. So the body makes us aware of what we dream about. So, it’s been a lot of unfolding through the body and storytelling and dream interpretations through movement and play. Which is also another way to facilitate lasting change - through movement.

I’ve been working with my own dreams and active imagination in a very structured way for years now, and often clients brought it into our sessions, too. For a long time, I felt this is, in fact, THE most important work we can do right now, individually and collectively. So, being in a workshop with Dawn and all the wonderful people who attended was mind- and heart-expanding.

So much so that, on the first day, it sparked an impromptu piece I wrote in 10 minutes during a break. This is for you, if you want to bring more of your True Self into play and allow your colours to show. I called it Being Orange, and I wrote it in a playful interaction with a big orange chair by the canal, just next to the venue where the workshop was.

A Being orange

There is an orange chair by the water. I’m immediately drawn to it. It’s wet and covered with leaves, but I really want to sit on it. The inner Adult says “You can’t - it’s wet”, but the Child doesn’t care, she wants to sit. The Adult fishes for a napkin in her pocket, but I threw it away. I can use my hands. “But it’s wet” the Adult protests. The Child still doesn’t care. It’s just a little bit of water. My hands have a mind of its own and they are already wiping the water off.

The chair is too big and I have to crawl up. I want to know what it’s like to sit in a chair this size. In this particular orange chair by the water. The back is tilting backwards just a little, so I can actually lean back. I imagine sitting on it on a sunny day, leaning my head back while the sun caresses my face. I pretend it’s sunny, sitting in the chair, wearing my orange jacket, it’s nuance slightly off, but close enough. People notice me, it’s a grey day, so it’s hard not to. Me and the chair, radiating some warmth into the space. I like to watch and notice the world around me. I like to sense what it’s like here, slightly higher up. My legs are straightened out, the edge biting into my lower leg. The Child part of me is comfortable, the Adult part of me is not.

I want to see, but not be seen. But I am, with all the orange.

And then again, something happens in the moment people meet my gaze. There is a familiarity, a sense of connection, a little flirt with a hint of naughty. We’re almost a living playful provocation like this, the chair and me. And the Adult still resists it as I sit here: “It’s not serious”. The Child stomps her feet, insisting that this is just so, that it’s in fact the most urgently needed thing in the world. For the world. And suddenly the birds join in with a song. They know, too - something about sitting in chairs that are too big, and way to orange for this world. Chairs where we can sit, or crawl, kiss or dance. To see and be seen, smile and flirt in playful moments of connection. And together we know about bringing some orange - being some orange.
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When we came back from the break, I asked to read my little piece to the room. My hands trembled as I held the microphone, and my voice shook. I don’t like standing on stages, especially not with my voice and my art. I felt exposed. But it did something for me and for the room.

The next day, the room was full of colour: yellow, red, purple, orange, green, blue. No subtle colours either. And I smiled - because sometimes we just overcomplicate things so much in our heads: what our inner Adult says we are allowed to do, how we are allowed to behave, who we are allowed to be. When in fact, maybe the magic is just bringing some orange - being some orange.

🧡 Martina

Curious poke What is visiting you in your dreams? And which colour do you want to bring?

Hi, I'm Martina. I coach creative leaders, change-makers and teams through defining transitions. My approach is relational and focused on growing vibrant, trusting cultures full of life. Our work together serves a systemic paradigm shift towards a regenerative, life-affirming worldview. ​ I am committed to anti-racism and decolonisation, and all my paid client work enables me to support impact leaders and communities of the global majority through scholarships or pro-bono work. ​ And as for me - I am wildly intuitive, ancestrally rooted and happiest in treetops. 🌳 ​

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