Hey, Reader

I hope this email finds you well on this International Women’s Day. It seems like a timely topic. Women have an increased experience of impostor syndrome and systemic barriers working against us, and this is especially true for women with intersectional identities with factors such as race, gender identity, religion, sexual orientation, ability, socio-economic background and neurodivergence as factors, creating additional pressure and self-doubt.

I’ve got a lot to say about this topic. Buckle up.

But before we dive in:

I wanted to invite you to a preview gathering for Creative Catalyst, as the doors to the program are open. 🎉👏🏻

On Tuesday from 17.30 to 18.00, you are invited to the bonfire, where I will give you a preview of the experience and the culture you can expect from the program itself. It's a "show, don't tell" kind of thing.

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I also recently guested on a podcast with Fanni Gabor, The Company We Keep, where we talked about my journey and all things teams, culture, and regenerative leadership. Have a listen.​

And now, let's get to it.

Impostor - what is it

The late Latin meaning of “impostor” is “deceiver,” and today, we understand it as a person who pretends to be someone else to deceive others. So, the assumed intention is to deceive. (We will get back to this later).

The phenomenon is as old as I am. In 1978, two psychologists, Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes, published an article titled "The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention”. In it, they studied 100 women who could not acknowledge their accomplishments despite the consistent external validation of their environments. The study concluded that these women were experiencing symptoms of anxiety, depression, lack of self-confidence and frustration with not meeting their high standards of achievement. Recognise it?

I often encounter the impostor as the voice of “I will be found out” in my clients, so there is a perception of faking it, and they fight tooth and nail not to get exposed.

It’s called a phenomenon or syndrome because it falls short of being a mental health diagnosis in the DSM, The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (the official handbook in the US and much of the Western world to help diagnose mental disorders). But putting it onto this continuum, we can safely conclude that we are pathologising it and seeing it as a kind of mental disorder and as “something wrong” that needs treatment and fixing.

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Here is my most significant point of contention with this perspective. I’ve been coaching a lot on this, and I think we’re doing ourselves a disservice to categorise it like this. I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t go to therapy if that is helpful and works for you. But I do want to say that some of this response is completely natural, considering the circumstance, and pathologising it can be the system’s way of gaslighting us into believing that we are the problem when, very often, the system is the problem.

So stay with me here because I want to share a few unconventional steps for working with it.

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The impact

The impostor’s broken record sounds a little something like this:

• I don’t really know what I’m doing, unlike everyone else who has their shit together
• I’m just pretending to be competent, and sooner or later, I will be found out
• I’m just a fraud and don’t deserve to be here
• That wasn’t my achievement; I was just lucky
• Who am I to speak? Others are more deserving to have their opinions heard
• I’m not qualified to have an opinion about this, and I might look dumb if I say something
• Well, I might have achieved this, but it wasn’t really all that good (as you nitpick at all the micro mistakes made in the process)
• Add yours….

If you’re curious to know more, you can read about five different types of impostors here.

It can be extremely hard to have a strong impostor voice driving you crazy. It can trip you up in so many ways and hold you back from building your dream life. It all comes at a significant cost: exhaustion, burnout, anxiety, depression, unrealised dreams. More than half of us have experienced impostors or regularly do, so you're not alone.

So now what?

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A new possible

You can do this differently. Here are some steps you can take. I’m trying to be specific here, but please know that even though steps are listed, this is not a “three steps to success” magical formula. It is often a long process of working with this part of you, unshaming it, including it, and bringing your nervous system into balance again.

Step one: Distance the voice

A subtle but significant shift is to say the above statements (or whatever your impostor tells you) and speak from the second person: “YOU don’t really know what you are doing,” “You are just a fraud and don’t deserve to be here,” etc. This will create some distance between you and the voice so you don’t confuse it with your own voice. It’s a part of you, but it’s not you.

Step two: Uncover the real intention

Let’s start by going back to the impostor’s intention. Looking at the above inner dialogue, you might think the impostor is there to ruin your life and keep you insecure, shamed and guilted. But if we get curious about it and bring some compassion for this voice, in my experience, it ALWAYS has good intentions on your behalf. Ask it: - “What do you want on my behalf?” - “How are you trying to help me?”

In my coaching clients, it’s usually something like keeping you safe and belonging to the group by preventing you from standing out, saying things that could potentially be risky, getting into a conflict, making other people angry (or insert favourite emotion), or something along these lines. Very often, it’s a voice from our parents, social contexts, cultures, and environments that we’ve adopted.

Step three: Use its strengths

But besides keeping us safe, the impostor part often also has another superpower - it is a sentinel (in old Italian, it comes from “sentina”, meaning vigilance). So, it senses and scans our environment for invisible structures, codes and (un)written rules. And the more we enter rooms that haven’t been designed for us or from which we have traditionally been excluded, the more the alarm will blare. So yes, your impostor is right! In many ways, it is detecting what I like to call systemic BS: “You are not welcome here.” So when that presents itself, instead of thinking - “it’s me, I’m the problem”, it’s good to reframe to: “Oh, I see - you are right, this is an environment that hasn’t been designed for me. It is not open and welcoming to someone like me.” Don’t get confused about where the actual problem is.

Step four: Give it a new role

Instead of allowing the impostor to be the driver on your journey, give it a different role: You can tell it to sit in the back seat (and chill the f··· out) or to be your navigator, alerting you of the turns on the road ahead. Or maybe you want to use a different metaphor that could be helpful to you. Get creative!

Step five: Take responsibility

Working with it requires you to take on the job it had, so if we stay with the car analogy, YOU have to be in the driver’s seat. So, reflect on: - What responsibility will you take on to ensure it doesn’t trip you up again? - How will you deal with its concerns when it brings them up? (Hint: you need to take them seriously.) - What kind of relationship do you want to have with this part?

Step six: The antidote

A great antidote to impostor is your inner leader. The more you train this creative part of your brain, the less power your impostor will have. If you haven’t yet, check out my free inner leader visualisation and the other articles from the series I am writing on our inner team:

​Part 1 on Inner Perfectionist​

​Part 2 on People Pleaser​

​Part 3 on your Inner Leader​

Of course, it is more complex, and you can use many other strategies. Regardless of what any expert or I say, don’t outsource your agency. Trust that you are the expert in your life and know what is best for you.

Step seven

When it comes to breaking down systemic barriers and redesigning systems, there is no better way to do it than community. So get together, get organised and get going! 👏🏻

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All power (back) to you and all the women of the world on this International Women's Day. There are systems to dismantle, barriers to break through, and - wars to end. Also, ceasefire now. 🕊️

It will take all of us, so don't you dare hold yourself back!

With love 💚✨

Martina

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Curious poke What story is your impostor telling you? What intentions does your impostor have on your behalf? How will you take care of its concerns? What are you willing to promise to yourself?

I am a fellow creative leader, a certified Co-Active coach and a strategic designer. I bring 20 years of experience and expertise in digital innovation, experience design, leadership and education.

I help stressed creative team leaders reclaim their creative confidence and self-belief to shape cultures and work that matters (and have fun with it again). Together, we create new possible futures. ☀️

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